Pop's Lip-Smackin', Raven-Rippin' Chili

Okay, before you ask, I'm just gonna say, I have no idea. While I can tell you that this chili is, indeed, lip-smackin', I can't even begin to imagine what "raven-rippin'" means, or why it applies to this particular dish. I know it's a reference to the Baltimore Ravens, but I'm not sure why a Marylander would want to rip them and I don't get how chili would do the job.

But back in September, our family--including all five kids ranging from age 9 to 22, plus a family friend--was returning from a vacation to Chincoteague, Virginia, land of the wild ponies, when we pulled over for a picnic at a rest stop outside of Annapolis. While there, a local couple struck up a conversation with us having seen our Ohio plates, asking us about our travels; What part of Ohio were we from?Where had we been? What had we seen? Had we enjoyed ourselves? How long had we stayed?

As we were climbing into our overly-packed minivan, still sandy from the beach, the woman told us to stay put; she had some reading materials for us for our long ride home. My husband and I glanced at each other nervously as the woman hurried to her station wagon and returned with a fistful of papers. Turns out it was a stack of monthlies called the Broadneck Baloney, nearly a dozen copies of the same edition. They were, she said, compiled, written and edited by her husband (though the credits say it was edited by Elvis Presley, Jr.), who stayed silent during the conversation and, based on his t-shirt and the majority of the content in the publication, had a substantial preoccupation with brewskies. 

Just about everyone in the car had their own copy, so we could all enjoy the jokes peppered throughout. There were silly ones ("If your child refuses to take a nap, is he or she guilty of resisting a rest?" and "No one knew I had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation") and slightly off-color ones (I'll refrain from providing an example). I asked the woman why it was called the Baloney, thinking it was some local colloquialism, but she said it was because everything in it was just a bunch of baloney.

Within the pages was this recipe by C.G., courtesy, the Broadneck Baloney says, of Bella's Wine and Spirits, who also presented Ask Aunt Berthabelle, a mock advice column with gems like this:

"Dear Aunt Berthabelle: 

I recently discovered by husband in the garage drinking brake fluid. He says he likes it, and it's less expensive than nasty drug and alcohol habits. Am I justified to be as worried as I am about his health?

Bess Twishes, Mediocre Mills

Dear Bess:

I wouldn't worry too much about him, my dear. If he's drinking brake fluid, he should be able to stop any time he wants to."

I've tweaked Pop's Lip-Smackin', Raven-Rippen Chili a little bit and I present my version here, for your cool-weather enjoyment. 

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2 pounds of lean ground beef
1 pound of bacon
1 large onion
3 large peppers (any color)
2 (28-ounce) cans Mexican-style stewed tomatoes
1 1/2 cups red kidney beans (I prefer dried ones, soaked and cooked)
1/2 cup black beans (same as above)
1/2 cup red wine
2 tablespoons red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon cumin powder
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon ground coriander
salt and pepper to taste
3 cloves of garlic, minced 
Shredded cheddar cheese
Cooked white rice 

Cook bacon until crisp and set aside. Using three tablespoons of the bacon grease, saute the onions and peppers until soft and beginning to brown. 

Meanwhile, brown the ground beef in a large pot. Drain. To that, add the beans, tomatoes, red wine, spices, onions and peppers. Add salt and pepper to taste. Simmer on medium-low for a couple of hours or in a crock pot on low for five hours. Add the minced garlic and simmer a few minutes more. Serve over rice and top with cheddar and crumbled bacon. 

Denice HazlettComment